kill the shift manager in your brain
you are not wasting time you are vibing. you are not being unproductive you are literally chilling. make a grill cheese with cheddar cheese and slather a piece of the bread with some honey and maybe you'll relax
Innes Keeper's Formula For Fantastic Grilled Cheeses
(for nearly no extra spoons!)
Are you hungry? Do you have a hankering for grilled cheese sandwiches like, way more than a normal person maybe? Great news! I am about to give you the secret knowledge I stole, like Prometheus himself, from the Akashic Records—to bring back to Prudencia! And I’m even doing it without a ten hour long lecture about how the Akashic Records makes me think of idfk, 9/11, and how that relates to sandwiches.
I will, however, briefly say this: You gotta trust me when I say cooking grilled cheeses via this formula WILL grant you Bloodborne Insight. There is no fucking reason that making a grilled cheese this fucking delicious should be this fucking easy. I feel like I’m cheating God every time I do it because it takes (nearly) no extra spoons. And here’s where I show you why.
Scientifically Proven Perfect Extremely Easy Grilled Cheese
INGREDIENTS — SEASONINGS
-butter, i usually use 2 or 3 tablespoons per sandwich
-garlic cloves, I use 3 usually
-a source of heat, like red pepper flakes, or szechuan peppers
-a source of spice OR a source of sweetness, such as dijon mustard or honey. slather that motherfucker on a slice of your bread.
-a source of herbiness, such as oregano, thyme, sage, rosemary, etc in any combination that goes well together or on its own. if someone tries to tell you that you need it fresh, they’re fucking lying, the 2$ crushed powdered sage is fucking great. experiment with other spices such as ground turmeric if you're spicy
INGREDIENTS - THE METAPHORICAL MEAT OF THE SANDWICH
-two slices of bread per sandwich. this is actually a massive influence on your sandwich taste and texture as a whole. a basic white or wheat will still be fucking delicious because like I said, I stole this from the Akashic Records cookbook section and found it under “fucking perfect grilled cheeses forever”. However, if you CAN—getting bread like brioche, texas toast, brown bread, rye, or sourdough will make a sandwich already being elevated super easily to “pay 23 dollars at a fancy restaurant” level of elevation.
-one to three types of cheese per sandwich. you can get away with one type but really try for two or three if you can swing it.
this is also one of those massive influences over the sandwich—listen, i know, that’s obvious, but stay with me—what matters
isn’t the SPECIES of cheese, it’s the TYPE of cheese. getting the deli at your local Safeway or Walmart or whatever and asking for the cheese they gotta cut (or just in general the fancier, better-quality cheeses) is literally the only major requirement that I ask of you. If you are on SNAP/EBT programs, me too, and I promise you: Please do this. Please trust me when I say do not get the cheap Kraft-type cheese because it’s less money. I know it’s a bit extra but it’s only a bit to get like 1/4 or 1/3lb and you have no idea how much I’m actually getting a little emotional about this, because the “rice with butter and beans or top ramen every single day” life is soulsucking and sickening and it is genuinely one of the greatest sources of suffering
to human beings I can imagine, I’m serious. Following this formula will genuinely change your life/mental health just a bit because you know that you have one meal that is super delicious, super filling, pretty damn cheap when it comes to how much you get, and super easy to make on days where the idea of doing more than just 15 minutes MAX is gonna make you wanna die.
super sorry for that paragraph btw i just really cannot overstate how this is a lifechanger especially when youre poor/low spoons/depressed. delicious food makes me not be as depressed. this is that.
METHOD
- Take garlic cloves and crush them either with the meat of your palm or the flat of a knife or literally anything that would crush good. Take bread slices and put a source of spice or sweetness if you are using one. take a pan and put it on the stove on low-medium heat (aka a 2 out of 10).
- Place the butter in the pan, as well as the garlic cloves, the source of heat, and the source of herbiness. Congratulations you have now literally done ALL the extra effort that you need to make a grilled cheese like this. That’s it. No extra dishes. No fussing with amounts or chopping or whatever. That’s it.
- The butter will melt in the pan and soak up the delicious ingredients that you also put into the pan. Take each slice of bread and place it in the pan to butter it, OR just take one slice, place the cheese on it, and then put the other bread on. It’s really just a matter of extra effort.
- When the bread is in the pan, turn it up to medium heat (5 out of 10) and just sorta let it sit for a bit. When you can see the cheese start to get visibly melty—or when you vibecheck it—flip it once and just do the same thing.
- When you’ve grilled your cheese on both sides, take it out of the pan and put it on a plate (or just a paper towel to save on dish spoons. btw paper plates and plastic utensils are a fucking godsend if you hate dishes and/or can’t do them very easily/takes a lot of effort.)
That’s literally it. I really hope this helps.
outta my way gayboy im making this sandwich
oh. oh my god. holy fuck. what. how. why. this is delicious. i kinda burned my bread and my cheese didnt melt all the way but it's still the best thing ive ever tasted?????
oh my god. this is so fucking good. the butter melting and absorbing the spices and herbs already smelled amazing, but then i threw the bread on and it started smelling EVEN BETTER. then i took a bite. holy FUCK this is better than sex. i legitimately believe that Innes Keeper stole this shit from Prometheus, there's no other way to explain why this is so easy to make, yet so FUCKING good, other than cheating a god.
I didn't steal it from Prometheus he's my trophy husband!
ok me and my partner went back and made this. exact words upon eating were “we’ve cheated god” and “i feel like my world just got rocked” and then we were both energized to get back to drawing. proof:
please make innes keeper’s scientifically proven perfect extremely easy grilled cheese
I'M PUTTING THIS ON THE FRIDGE (WHERE I KEEP ALL MY CHEESE)
Fundamental life advice: never trust a product from a youtuber/influencer sponsorship
- Raycons - overpriced repackaged cheap bullshit
- Hello fresh - last years workers were on strike for shitty work conditions and there’s reports of union busting. Never have i seen a youtuber acknowledge this at all
- Adam and Eve - the dildos aren’t all from body safe materials. Don’t risk it with cheap dildos it can fuck your body up
- Audible - owned by amazon
- Idk which one but one of the vpn ones mined bitcoin from ur computer and they’re useful but generally falsely advertised, not a big tech person but this guy talks about it
- All the fit teas and shakes etc are bullshit that just makes you poop and loose water weight short term
- Raid shadow legends - lol do i even need to explain this one
- All the loot crates - filled with cheap junk they’re getting wholesale
- The online coupon thingies are a data harvesting scam. Just google the shop name + coupon when shopping
- The online therapy better help was a whole big controversy and i still see this shitty company being promoted
Idk maybe the learning platform ones are the exception but i never looked into them
Adding on to this.
Skillshare is hard to cancel. There’s a slight chance this has changed but when I looked into subscribing, there was a lot of people complaining about having to email the company multiple times to cancel.
Since Squarespace is templets, they legally own whatever you make. If you decide to change providers, you can’t take it with you. You’re stuck with them forever or have to rebuild your website from the ground up. You at least own the domain name so there’s that, but for me it’s not worth the work if I have to restart should I ever decide I hate the company.
I want more people to know this because every time I’ve looked into something advertised by youtubers, it’s never been good.
if they werent scams they would do real advertising. simple as
a few of these i had lying around. idk
I'm so sorry, i know this isn't funny but on the other hand it's so fucking funny rhgiuherg
“Accept this love I ask for.
Accept the part of me that is you.”
Alejandra Pizarnik, from ‘On Your Anniversary’
“I am in your words, I know, as you are in all of mine.”
Edmond Jabés, A Foreigner Carrying in the Crook of His Arm A Tiny Book
“What I am giving you is nothing that belongs to me […] It is just yourself, you running through me throwing off sparks, your eyes blazing with fear, blazing with hope, I am giving you your own fire. All I do is breathe very gently on your night embers and handfuls of stars fly out.”
Hélène Cixous, The Book of Promethea
“losing through you what seemed myself, i find selves unimaginably mine”
e.e. cummings, ‘silently if,out of not knowable’
“He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. If all else perished and he remained, I should still continue to be, and if all else remained, and we were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger. He’s always, always in my mind; not as a pleasure to myself, but as my own being.”
Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights
“When you seem to be listening to my words, they seem to be your words, with me listening.”
Antonio Porchia, Voices
“No, Hans, my love, I am not as generous as you think nor do I give myself to you freely–whatever you take from me you have already given me […] When I think of you, when I give myself to you, I feel I am going to meet myself, and this makes me stronger and more serene.. what a selfish kind of generosity!”
Andres Neuman, Traveller of the Century
“I meant that you should discover me so, by my faint
indirections,
And I, when I meet you, mean to discover you by the
like in you
Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
“I met myself in you.”
Adonis, ‘Transormations of the Lover’
when u Mom com home and make hte spagheti
i am really tired of people who don't want to take care of themselves like i sympathise i understand but i can't deal with self destruction anymore. i am so exhausted
Abbas Kiarostami’s “Taste of Cherry” ( …طعم گيلاس ) May 16, 1997.
Basketball doesn’t make people tall
I want that commenter to look at some of the top athletes who win medals in sports like weightlifting and shot put in competitions as high up as the Olympics
Chase Ealey
Joe Kovacs
Courtney Bennett
I even found this blurry picture when looking at pictures of Courtney Bennett of the winners of the Ohio Valley Conference Indoor Track and Field Championship who are ALL fat
Another picture of winners from a track and field championship who are all fat
This picture of Lasha Talakhadze is literally the FACE of the Wikipedia article for Olympic weightlifting
Li Wenwen who made an Olympic record lifting 397 pounds, or 180 kg
Holly Mangold
Kia Stevens, described online as a “Five-time Women’s Champion” who “was not only ranked as No. 1 in the inaugural Pro Wrestling Illustrated Top 50 Females list, but was the third woman to EVER enter the WWE’s Royal Rumble event.”
You think pro-football player Alejandro Villanueva of the Baltimore Ravens was thin?
There are even fat people who are runners, the very sport that commenter claims is for skinny people only. Not only are there countless fat people who run for fun all the way up to the most famous marathons you can think of, but most of these fat people stay fat despite years and years of running marathons. I was reading an article about fat marathoners written by a fat marathoner. This is her finishing a 5K marathon in 2018, which she says she is the exact same weight here that she was when she started running four years prior (The article is from 2019 at which she was STILL the same weight as before she ran marathons):
My own step-mom runs marathons every year and is fat. She has an enormous collection of medals for running long marathons.
The reason why you don’t see more fat people in sports is not because fat people aren’t capable. It’s because we are excluded. There are no sports equipment, exercise equipment, or athletic clothing made with our size in mind. When Nike decided to make some athletic clothing in fat people sizes and displayed them on a fat mannequin in their store, people were outraged. And this was despite all of these people demanding us fatties to exercise and lose weight for them (since they believe weight loss is as simple as eating less and exercising more, which even science says it is not.)
Fat people are turned away when we try to join athletic clubs and teams. If we do get to join, we’re shamed and ridiculed for our bodies. People stare at us when we try to play sports or even do so much as go for a walk. The media portrays us as inherently bad at sports, so some of us grow up internalizing that and decide not to even try because we already have been told there’s no point. I was terrible at PE as a fat child not because fat children can’t do sports, but because PE was the designated humiliate-fat-children time of the school day, so I wanted as little to do with it as possible and had been made to believe by others that my body meant I could never succeed at sports in the first place, so why even try? I would let each child go in front of me in line so that I would never have to go up to bat during baseball where all eyes would be on me. I chose the boring and tedious written assignment all alone in my classroom for a week in 5th grade instead of doing swimming lessons at the local pool with my classmates so that no one would see my fat body in a swimsuit, so that the kid I had a crush on and already believed would never like me back because I was chubby wouldn’t see my body. I was ten years old, and I loved to swim. Do you know how alienating and horrible it feels to be the only fat child taking ballerina lessons while all the other children have lithe, thin bodies that society has made synonymous with ballerinas and their beauty?
In middle school I did whatever it took to opt out of PE requirements not because I didn’t want to be able to run around after stressful classes, but because I didn’t want to undress in a locker room full of thin girls who would laugh at me. I took an online class for my PE requirement in high school so that I could exercise in the comfort and privacy of my own room on my old exercise bike I loved using everyday regardless of school requirements. And at that point I had actually unhealthily starved myself in an attempt to conform and was now mid-size but was still afraid for people to see my body.
I loved jumping on my trampoline and swimming everyday in my pool in the Florida heat as a child. My mom would always tell me I had green hair as a kid because my then-blonde hair would turn green from the constant chlorine. I ran around pretending to be a horse because I loved how horses galloped. I played tag. I wrestled with my brothers. Until all of that was beat out of me over the years as I was taught that fat kids are not meant to show their bodies or be active. My earliest memories are of the shame I felt for being bigger than my friends, and looking at old pictures I realize now that I wasn’t even that fat at the time, but I had already been taught that my body was wrong and hideous.
And nowadays at age 24, soon to be 25? I would never step foot in a gym and subject myself to all of the people snickering at me, “encouraging” me, and believing I was there to lose weight. I’m also terrible at sports because I never learned how to do them. And without my beloved exercise bike I used to exercise at home, I don’t exercise much at all anymore because the options are either yoga or exercising somewhere that isn’t behind the closed doors of my apartment. I even feel too ashamed of my body to dance alone in my room.
The media also doesn’t give much spotlight at all to fat athletes because that wouldn’t help keep thin privilege and diet culture making corporations hundreds of billions of dollars. So these athletes I showcased earlier in this post you might not have ever even heard of despite them winning gold in the Olympics and other famous competitions. A lot of fat Olympians can’t even get sponsors because they’re fat and thus not a conventionally attractive or “normal” athlete, so no one wants to sponsor them. And when you can’t make money doing sports because no one wants to see fat people doing anything other than comedy acts where we pretend to be walking fat stereotypes, how are you going to continue being an athlete as a career?
And even when you are a professional athlete as a fat person and doing what every fatphobic thin person demands of you, famous news outlets will make headlines about you like this:
”The NFL Has An Ob*sity Problem. Bigger, faster, stronger, unhealthier,” by the Huffington Post, and by far not the only news outlet that has made a fatphobic garbage article about fat athletes.
You can’t win no matter what you do. You could be fat and the greatest athlete in the world, and yet media and fatphobes like that original commenter will still berate you for having a body that doesn’t conform to their whims.
If you don’t see fat people in a sport, it’s not because we can’t play it or be good at it. It’s because we are excluded at every single point in the process of trying to play that sport. And being athletic is not a qualifier for being a fellow human being who deserves respect and compassion to begin with.
twitter changing their logo to doge really solidified how much of a garbage fire of a website it has become.
Oh and they changed it to doge because Elon is currently facing a TWO-HUNDRED AND FIFTY EIGHT BILLION DOLLAR LAWSUIT for scamming investors with dogecoin and he’s trying to bury search results for it. Because he’s the most pathetic man on Earth
Really Important News – This lawsuit is higher then this dumpster fires networth (according go google at least). If he ruins he’d have to surrender more money than he has, liquid or otherwise–in otherwords, he’d be ruined and would either have to sell his companies to pay or declare bankrupcy, either option would be hilarious so–
Likes charge reblogs cast.
Hit reblog on this so hard
SHOUT OUT TO KRISTEN BELL’S MOM THOUGH? WHAT KIND OF FANTASTIC SELF-AWARE PARENTING, WELL DONE MA'AM
[ID text–
Series of GIFs from interview with Kristen Bell, with the following subtitles:
I struggled a lot with anxiety and depression.
My mom sat me down when I was probably 18 and she said, “There is a serotonin imbalance in our family and it can often be passed from female to female.
She said, “If you start to feel like you are twisting things around you and you start to feel like there is no sunlight around you and you are paralyzed with fear, this is what it is and here’s how you can help yourself.”
I present this very cheery, bubbly person but also do a lot of work, I do a lot of introspective work.
And I got on a prescription when I was really young to help with my anxiety and depression and I still take it today and I have no shame in that.
Because my mom had said to me “If you start to feel this way talk to your doctor, talk to a psychologist see how you want to help yourself and if you do decide to go on a prescription understand that the world wants to shame you for that.”
In the medical community you would never deny a diabetic his insulin. But for some reason when someone needs a serotonin inhibitor, they’re immediately crazy.
End ID.]
Kristen’s nterview at The Off Camera Show posted on YouTube also linked here (link above does not seem to work):
why did tumblr ever remove the group chats
they want us to have conversations in public because they feed off of shame and discomfort just like colin robinson
“All year, I was critiqued about who I was. I don’t fit the narrative. I’m too hood, I’m too ghetto. This is for the girls that looked like me. It was bigger than me tonight. I’m happy. I felt I helped grow women’s basketball.”
- Angel Reese @angelreese10
Please keep this circulating. Cops are getting more and more brazen, know your rights!
good to know
Reblogging every time this goes past
I had to learn my rights the hard way…read this, study it, memorize it, this is insanely valuable information.
dark green is a nice color. underrated
ladies and gentlemen, Phtalo Green
This is literally my favorite color. 😩 Smaragd green is another dark shade of green that I’m absolutely obsessed with.
